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Dichotomous (AKA "Black and White") Thinking Patterns
And how they pretend to help us but actually sabotage us
"I ate too much today but I will do better tomorrow"
"I didn't go to the gym this week so I may as well not go at all"
"I messed up and I am a piece of 💩"
"I hate my body and everyone looks better than me"
Do any of the above statements sound familiar? I would say one of the biggest things my clients (and myself!) share in common is all-or-nothing thinking. This pattern includes thinking in extremes and absolutes, and experiencing rigidity around cognitive beliefs and behaviors. As a result, we are left with the experience of cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive Dissonance: the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.
When we experience cognitive dissonance, it is pretty hard to actually make behavioral or attitudinal changes. That is where the sabotage part comes in. Even though black and white thinking presents as a container of safety (Look at me, I am in control!!), it actually perpetuates a sense of disempowerment and makes it hard to follow a path that is in line with our values.
In full authentic transparency (because hi, I am human!) I was totally thinking in black and white when I launched my private nutrition counseling practice. Even though I have been a dietitian since 2018, even though I was the Clinical Director of a thriving nutrition practice for nearly 3 years, even though I knew what I was doing.....the first 4 weeks were tough. I was getting referrals, new intakes weekly, after my scheduled discovery calls every single client was scheduling an intake. But I woke up every morning with a feeling of dread. If I don't have a full caseload, a thriving instagram, and a million dollars RIGHT NOW, then I am a failure.
Ummm, no. Not true Caitlin. It is super humbling though, to also engage in this type of thinking pattern. It makes it so much easier to support my clients in embracing the grey.
Why Dichotomous Thinking Doesn't Work
What the research says about this maladaptive coping tool
In my work as a dietitian, I see polarizing thinking show up as a coping tool. When we categorize and compartmentalize food, movement, body, etc, we feel in control. The parameters and rigidity support us in knowing what to expect. When we know what to expect, we feel more comfortable. This can even be true if the all-or-nothing thinking causes a level of rigidity that is harmful to our wellbeing.
And as a matter of fact, research shows that dichotomous thinking can be harmful to relationships, physical and mental health, and career success.
Research also helps us understand that when trauma occurs in our lifetime, we may begin using polarizing thinking patterns as a coping strategy or even to try and protect ourselves from future harm. I see this a lot with my clients, especially those who are working on disordered eating or relationship to food and body. However, it truly applies to everyone; being alive inherently signs you up for some level of trauma in your life time.
Dichotomous Thinking, Relationship to Food and Body and Embracing the Grey
They grey might not seem sexy, but it holds *a lot* of freedom
Dichotomous thinking leads us to create rigid and often unobtainable goals, making it difficult to have a healthy relationship with food and body. When we create rigidity around food choices and feelings about what the ideal body is, we live in a constant state of fear and anxiety. It may never be possible to have the ideal body or to eat perfectly, yet we desire and crave it so intensely (this is cognitive dissonance). We might lose sleep over it, obsessively talk about it with friends and family, decline social events where food is present, opt out of the dreamy beach vacation because of the dreaded swimsuit.
One thing I can say with certainty is that finding a sustainable way of existing in your body and nourishing yourself is imperative to food and body freedom. Embracing the grey allows you to have more patience, more self-compassion, and can only positively impact your mental health, body image, and relationship to food. Embracing the grey allows you to make decisions that are more in line with your values.
One of the biggest tools I introduce to my clients is "embracing the grey." As a matter of fact, I tell them to run toward it!
What are Neutral and Real/True Statements?
Neutral True Statements, or "Fact Checking" as I call it with my clients is an excellent and surprisingly easy way of reframing/restructuring your perspective and thinking patterns about food and/or body. Polarized thinking adds moral value to things like food choices and body shape/size. When we attach moral value to our choices, and then engage in a choice that we have moralized to be "bad," the internal messaging is that "I am bad" for making this choice.
Examples of Black and White Thinking Patterns and Neutral, True Reframes
Cookies are bad → I ate a cookie → I am bad = NEGATIVE FOOD EXPERIENCE
Neutral, True Reframe:
Baking cookies is something I do with my mom → I love chocolate chip cookies = POSITIVE FOOD EXPERIENCE
I hate how I look in these pants → If I ate less cookies I would look good→ I am bad = NEGATIVE BODY EXPERIENCE
Neutral, True Reframe:
I bought these pants because I love the color and feel of the fabric =Â POSITIVE BODY EXPERIENCE
Engaging in neutral true reframing isn't always comfortable, and you may not always believe what you are saying. That is okay. You are building new thinking patterns and pathways in your brain, which is a really cool thing!
I find that working together in our appointments is a wonderful and supportive way to explore neutral reframes for polarizing thinking patterns.
Practice using the examples above. What would these scenarios look like in your own life? Check out my ideas below:
I understand why I responded that way (Instead of "what's wrong with me"?
That situation was kind of icky and I felt really triggered by it. I went into fight or flight and it makes sense that I used a maladaptive coping tool, because I am still learning self care techniques.
I am having some uncomfortable feelings right now (Instead of "I am so dramatic and I always overreact.")
What happened was really scary and disregulating and I am noticing that I feel uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable is a real thing that people experience sometimes. But I know that feelings come and go.
This is my now body (Instead of "I hate how my body has changed. I am a failure").
I have a body. Bodies change. They don't really teach us that growing up. Real, true things that have changed my body include: pregnancy, broken bones or surgery and not moving as much, getting sick and not being able to eat as much, hormonal changes, aging, genetics (like the shape and size of my mom and dad's bodies), eating disorder recovery, stress, depression. I understand that my body shape and size doesn't say anything about my value or worth as a human. It makes sense that my body changed after .
This is how I look in this outfit (Instead of "I can't wear this because I look terrible in it.")
If I decide to look in the mirror today and see how I look in this outfit, I can acknowledge without judgement what is real and true-this is how my body looks in this outfit and that's it.
I am eating this ice cream (or pizza or cake) because I think it tastes good (Instead of "what is wrong with me? Why can't I control myself" I already had a piece of cake today.")
It is real and true that people eat ice cream during celebrations, like birthdays. Today is my birthday and it makes sense that I am eating cake and ice cream. If there is cake and ice cream left over tomorrow, I will probably have another serving because I love chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream.
Thank you for reading!
Caitlin Sloane, MS, RDN at Nutrition​ Studio
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